Welcome to Stoneybrook High
by dancerskickbutt
Summary: Hannah Papadakis has always lived in Stoneybrook, and she went to Stoneybrook Academy with the same people. When she begins to go to Stoneybrook High with everyone from Stoneybrook, she will find out the true meaning of friendship. Also in other POVs.
1. Unexpected

Disclaimer: I don't own the BSC. I was just obsessed with it in fourth grade. Okay?

A/N: I hope you'll enjoy this. It's my version of the grown up BSC charges.

"So are you coming out or what?"

I rolled my eyes impatiently at Karen Brewer, my supposed best friend. "Hello…? Who needs to be rushed when you're already nervous to death?" I finished stuffing my backpack. It had everything on the required list of supplies.

"Uh…Hannah?" Karen kind of cringed. "Don't you want to make a good impression?"

I looked down at my fuzzy blue Nike sweatshirt and "destroyed" jeans. Not bad. "I don't really care about that," I admitted. "It's not like we haven't hung around with other Stoneybrook kids before."

Big mistake. Lecture time….

I just realized, you probably have no idea what's going on. Well…

My name is Hannah Papadakis, and I'm fourteen. I'm starting high school in a half an hour, and boy am I freaked out! Stoneybrook High is humongous!

I hadn't noticed it that much before, since I expected to continue going to Stoneybrook Academy with my best friends Nancy, since kindergarten, and Karen, since second grade. (Yeah…we can afford private school. I'm used to the smirks from some public school kids.) And then there was….

Stoneybrook, Connecticut. A tiny town, so tiny in fact, there's only a small café downtown, and that's about it. You have to get out of the town to do anything interesting. Don't ask me how we were able to divide the kids into three big groups: Stoneybrook Academy, Stoneybrook Elementary and Middle Schools, and (ha, ha, uniforms) Stoneybrook Day. Then, last July, the news came that we could get a mall built around here, to attract shoppers and passerbies to this boring old town. There was only one price to pay…tear down Stoneybrook Day _and_ Academy's grounds. Crazy, huh? But true. And we agreed.

And that's how we ended up going to school with 100-something kids we only know from babysitting escapades with Karen's psycho stepsister, Kristy. But how do you remember being in dumb "parades" and so-called "concerts with kazoos when you were seven? (Mom told me some of this). Here's a duh for you: I'm not babysat for anymore.

"…we need to look good!" Karen finished. I could have went back to sleep. We turned and met my brother, Linny, at the front door. He's a junior.

"So, ladies, nervous?" he asked casually. He grinned and smoothed back his hair. Karen was eating it up. She won't admit it, but she obviously _like_ likes him. To cover it up, she goes out with others, even if she doesn't really like them. Just a few weeks ago she broke up with Rob Gianelli.

"Me…never!" Karen gave her trademark phony laugh. "Are you getting your license this year? I don't particularly like taking the bus."

Linny flashed me an accusing look. _Did you promise this kid rides?_ But he turned to Karen. "Nah, not for a while. Maybe near the end of this year, it depends if I get a job." He pushed open the door.

"You should work at the Rosebud," Karen offered. We arrived at the bus stop. "I heard they're hiring." Linny was staring at all the Stoneybrook Day kids, and so was I.

Snobs.

It came to me before I could stop it. Half of the girls there were wearing matching mini-skirts. The rest had on tank tops and extremely tight jeans. It was pretty hard to find someone dressed normally. Hannah, you jerk. You haven't even given them a chance.

Then again, Karen could be written off as one too, or just as trying too hard. Her hair was curled (big curls), her angled bangs were straightened, and her humongous, shiny hoop earrings were dangling crazily. And she had on 10 lbs. of eyeliner, at least.

The bus came and Karen inched towards me. "Oh, Hannah, you can share my 30 GB IPOD. It's going to be a loooong ride," she said loudly. We found an empty seat to share near the front.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey, remember me?" I whipped around. A girl with shoulder length layered dirty blonde hair and a purple Aeropostale tee was sitting behind us, alone.

"Umm…actually I don't," I admitted.

"I'm Mel, Mel Korman, you know, from the Dolphins?"

Duh, the Dolphins Swim Team. "Heh...yeah. I guess I didn't recognize you with your hair dry." We both laughed nervously.

We began talking, and before we knew it we were at the school. Mel was actually Melody, but she hated it because she couldn't carry a tune. She was turning fifteen in a month, also a freshman. Her brother, Will, was a junior. Her sister Skylar was eight, and being driven to Stoneybrook Elementary. She'd been going to Stoneybrook Day for seven years, since she'd moved to Stoneybrook from Michigan.

"See you later, I hope," I said, getting up. I noticed then that Karen was watching us intently. "You missed the greatest song, this new one by My Chemical Romance," she told me, when she realized I was looking at her.

"Oh, too bad," I frowned, feeling bad that I had ignored her. We stepped off and stared at the humongous school.

"My God," Karen murmured. "How are we supposed to memorize our way around here?"

Some older kids walking in turned around and smirked at us. Obviously, they'd been around here before. Well, we knew that all freshmen had to report to the auditorium, we got that info with our schedules.

Karen rolled her eyes at them. "Losers," she said. "But we're going to have to follow them, you know that, right Hannah?"

"I can't think of any other way except wander," I shrugged.

We found it. After the assembly, we went to try out our lockers. They were assigned alphabetically, were huge, and---we had to share them.

Mine was this girl, who was unbelievably flirty, way over the top and obvious. There was a cute guy next to us, tall and muscular, and so she didn't even give me time of day. So much for trying to be friendly.

"Have you made the football team yet, Jack?" she asked, fluffing her short, waving brown hair. "I just knew you would."

"Ehh, yeah…" he said hesitantly, turning back to his locker. This Jack guy was not interested in her at all.

She wouldn't get the hint. "When's your first game? I'm just dying to come and watch. Maybe after you can come over and---"

A bell rang. The delayed first day of school first period was to start in four minutes. I'd better hurry and finish getting my books, I thought.

"What's your name?" I asked, annoyed. Here was a last chance to try to be social.

"Margo Pike," she said absently, not even looking at me. Margo stalked Jack down the hallway and tossed the lock on the ground next to me. Margo, I'm human too, remember?

First period was ACC (Accelerated) Spanish 2. They had to get more teachers, because SMS and SDS learned French, and we learned Spanish. Many of us want to continue learning it, although there are a lot who want to begin speaking French and being with the majority of other kids. I never thought that would matter before.

The desks were arranged in twos, and groups of friends were all around. One empty seat was left, next to a girl I knew from the Academy, Natalie Springer. She's one of those people who everyone likes, since she's nice and basically can hang out with anyone. She had the same sweatshirt on as me, but in green, and khakis.

"So, you're not taking French either?" I asked, sitting down. Karen was the one who told me a lot of people were doing just that.

"Nah…they're doing trips to Canada and all that, but I want to get really good in Spanish." Natalie gathered her long blonde hair into a ponytail and rolled up her sleeves.

It _was_ hot. It was still summer, technically. September 6th. "Me, too. It will be pretty awesome senior year when we can speak like those people on the Spanish TV channels."

Natalie laughed. "Even if I were in Spanish 20, I still wouldn't be able to do that!" Just then, the teacher called for attention and my high school life began.

I wandered from class to class, following the map. It was simple. Two floors, three hallways running through each. Lunch depended on what class you were in. There was too many people (almost 1000 kids!), and I couldn't find any of my friends, so I just sat there with my cold pasta salad the whole time. By last period I was dead, and very surprised. I had trillions of expectations, and a few assignments. I only had one other class with a friend: science with Leslie Morris, who I didn't like very much in elementary school but became friendlier in middle school when we had to do a huge project together.

So I expected Freshman/Sophomore Gym to be the same. I was wrong. As soon as I stepped into the gym, I heard, "Hannah!!!! Heyyy, Hannah!!!! Sit heeere!" Of course, it was Karen. On the first day we sat on the bleachers and listened to boring instructions. Karen was on the top bleacher with our other best friend, Nancy Dawes.

Actually, she's grown apart from us a little bit. Karen's basically preppy, I'd describe my style as average, maybe a bit sporty at times, but Nancy's is wild. She had on a bright red off the shoulder top, a flouncy pink skirt, and her long hair piled up in a ponytail. Nothing was unmatched or had weird patterns. She looked hot.  We're still close, more me and Nancy rather than Karen too. She made some new friends, like Audrey Green, who decided to turn Goth and/or emo in seventh grade. She probably doesn't even know what either mean. Audrey's always been annoying, ever since preschool when she refused to share her painting easel with me. Funny, how you remember things like that.

Phweeet!! Instead of calling us, the teacher blew his whistle to get attention. Ow, my ears! "Hello. My name is Mr. Keating, and I will be teaching freshman and sophomore gym period this year. I welcome all freshmen new to the school, and sophomores new to the district. Now let me take roll…" he fumbled for his attendance book, and everyone began talking to each other again.

"Hey, Nan!" I said. "I haven't seen you all day. What's up?"

Nancy shrugged, adjusting her dangly earrings. "What classes are you guys taking? We didn't get any time to compare schedules over the summer."

"Honors everything," Karen said, just as I answered, "Accelerated everything, except for Honors English."

"Figures," Nancy said. "I'm in all college prep—"

Phweeet!! Oh, geez, is he going to do that all class? "Enough! Now, let's begin. Arnold, Carolyn. Barrett Junior, Hamilton. Braddock, Matthew…"

The only other people I knew were Jane Gilbert, Rick Torres, and Mel from the bus, and my wonderful locker buddy's brother, Nick. "Blah, blah, blah, behave in my class, blah and be on time blah, blah, blah."

Obviously, that's not what Mr. Keating said, exactly. Finally, he gave us an opportunity to get up. "I have your gym locker combos on these sheets. Pick a partner and help each other open your gym lockers before the period ends."

I expected Nancy to choose me, since we're closer to each other than Karen. But Karen jumped up, smiled at me, and exclaimed, "Nancy, you and me—partners!" She grabbed their sheets and ran down to the girls' locker room.

Getting back at me for this morning? Just the _littlest bit_ childish, Karen Marie Brewer. "Hannah, right?" I heard a voice from behind me and jumped.

I turned around. There was Mel with another girl, who had curly, very long thick black hair. "Oh, sorry I scared you. Do you want to be a threesome with us? There's an odd amount of people in this class."

"Okay," I nodded, following some sophomores into the locker room.

"Oh…and this is Adrienne Hastings. She lives over on McLelland Road, near me. We've been going to the Day school together for awhile." Mel smiled, introducing.

"Oh my gosh!" I said excitedly. "I live on McLelland, too!"

"We're neighbors," Adrienne smiled at me and said this shyly. "What's your name? Maybe I've seen you around somewhere."

"I'm Hannah Papadakis. I have three siblings, too."

"Papadakis...you must live near the Kilbourne's. I think I've passed it going towards there."

I nodded. "Our moms are friends. And Karen, over there----" I gestured, "---has a dog named after Shannon Kilbourne. I think because they gave her it or something."

Adrienne got my locker on the first try. She must be pretty smart, I thought, and said so.

"Adi? She gets straight A's. A true genius," Mel grinned, stretching out the word. "She was the smartest kid at Stoneybrook Day School."

"Karen's like that, too," I said, giving Adrienne a break, who looked embarrassed. "She skipped first grade, so she's only thirteen."

"She's trying too hard," Mel observed, in an honest, not gossipy way. We all turned to see what she was looking at and saw Karen flirting with some older guy. "Look at the way she looks. About seventeen with the curled hair and bangs and all, I mean." We finished up and got out of the locker room.

Next to me, Adrienne stifled a laugh. "What?" I asked. "What's going on?"

She laughed until she almost gagged. "That's my brother," she finally managed to say. "Sean. He's in the junior/senior gym class, and he's turning eighteen in November."

"Just a little too old for her," I held up my fingers for emphasis.

"Knew it," Mel said. "Who's good?"

Adrienne rolled her eyes. "Not you."

"But hey," Mel added, "I have an idea. Since you're not driven home like you're driven to school, Adi, why don't we all come over my house after school? I'll give you the directions later, and you and Adi can walk, it's only a block or two down."

I just barely found my bus in time. there was way too many to find just one. We made a plan. I'd find Adrienne's house, then we'd go to Mel's and hang out awhile: Karen got her stepsister, at break for some time to drive her and her stepbrother David home, not me or Linny. Figures.

I basically leaped into the house, grabbing an apple. "I'm going to my new friend's house, be back later," I said to my mom, and to Linny from behind me.

"Wait!" Mom stopped me. "Slow down, Hannah. How was your day?"

So I considered. "Not bad, not really what I expected," and I left.


	2. Nothing's The Same

Knock, knock. We waited until Claire unlocked the door, a little impatiently. Clang! "Sorry, dropped them," she called sheepishly. We heard footsteps, and she finally let us in.

Claire's the youngest, the only one of us still in middle school. There are six of us going to Stoneybrook High (I'm not lying), and Mallory, the oldest, is at her first year in college.

"Where's Mom?" asked Byron. He's only a year older than me. He grabbed a can of Coke from the fridge, and plopped in front of the TV.

"Hey, no, I'm still in the middle of a game!" exclaimed Adam. He's seventeen and still very into video games. Yup, very mature.

"Suck it up, Adam," Byron snapped, flipping through the channels. "So, eighth grader, tell us, where's our favorite stay at home Mom?"

Claire looked up. She tends to get lost between all of us mature teenagers. "Oh, uh…she went to the market. She'll be back soon." She grabbed the phone and headed up the stairs. "I'm going to be on with Myriah for awhile…." she called down.

"Laguna Beach is on soon," reminded Margo, who thinks she's the coolest freshman on earth. MTV is her newest craze. She became obsessed with it over the summer.

I rolled my eyes and went upstairs too. When Mal was home, we shared a room. Since she's been gone (a couple of weeks), I've really made it my own. Mal's _so_ conservative. Bands, guys, friends, and more guys…it definitely looks like a sixteen year old lives there instead of a forty year old.

I sat down and began my chem homework. And I didn't stop until I was through with French and geometry. Even though by then I still had plenty more, I headed downstairs to see what was for dinner. "Mom? What's for---?" the house was silent. Wow, how often does that happen?? I stopped in mid-sentence.

Claire was sitting at the table, head bent over her schoolbook. "Where's Mom?" I asked her.

"How should I know?" Claire exclaimed, frustrated. She kept on working. The phone rang, and we both jumped. "Hello?"

"Margo? It's Mom, I…."

"It's Vanessa."

"I'm sorry. I'll be home soon. I…um…ran some errands. Make yourselves some sandwiches—"

"Where's Dad?"

"---and I have to go. Bye."

Click. An eerie feeling swept over me. Was it just me, or was she avoiding my question?

"I hate sandwiches," Claire mumbled. Maybe Mom was talking loud and I didn't notice, so Claire heard. Maybe….

…this has happened before.

I sighed and went to the cabinet. After eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I was about to go upstairs but Claire interrupted me. "Don't tell me Dad's working late again," she said. "I don't buy that story." Claire may be young, but she really does understand a lot.

I thought about that and went to sit back at my desk. It took awhile to finish my homework, and by then Mom's car was in the driveway. I decided to work on the poetry for school's newspaper, the Stoneybrook High Weekly Gazette. So, I grabbed a piece of paper out of the second drawer down, and tried to concentrate; think of a meaningful idea. I couldn't, because suddenly a horrible thought overwhelmed me…

_Has Dad lost his job again?_ I thought back to the last time that had happened. We had no income, and eight kids to support for awhile. Mal's in college now. It's even worse, because we have to pay tuition on top of bills and other things. We won't make it. Maybe I should extend my weekend cashier job to everyday….

My thoughts were broken by a knock on the door. "Come in," I called.

Mom was there, looking much worn out. From running errands? "Vanessa, it's almost nine. Are you planning on taking a shower soon?"

"Yeah," I nodded, sitting up straight. "I forgot."

She sat down on Mallory's bed and patted me on the shoulder. "And how was your day, sweetie? Busy?"

"Yeah, we had a couple of quizzes. And we have a new project. I'm working on it with a new girl."

Mom smiled weakly. "Do you think others are adjusting well to public school? It seems like a difficult transition. Who's your friend?"

"Maria Kilbourne. She's a sophomore and she writes for the Gazette, too. She used to go to Stoneybrook Day School."

"Well, try to get to bed early," Mom urged. "If you want to get in there before Jordan and Margo, you'd better hurry, especially for Margo." She shuffled to her room and locked the door.

Now I was really curious. What kind of errands? Being a stay at home mom isn't that tiring, she isn't that way usually, anyway.

That night I had a dream I was driving a car around nowhere, and I couldn't control myself.

"_Help! Somebody stop me, before it's too late!" I shouted dramatically._

_I turned the steering wheel frantically. Suddenly it popped off and the window fogged up. Moving in all directions possible, I still couldn't see what was ahead of me._

_Then, in a flash, I could only see one thing: my dad. With a loud "whoosh" the car stopped and I got out. I looked everywhere, but Dad was nowhere to be found._

"_No!!!" I screamed. "No! Daddy! Come back……"_

I looked at the clock. It was two in the morning. But I couldn't go back to sleep. Without thinking, I automatically headed for the window where you could see our driveway. I stalled for a second, not ready to look. But I did.

Dad's car wasn't there.


	3. Big Decision

A/N: I hope you're enjoying the story. I appreciate all the feedback, thank you. I was just wondering about your opinions, am I not making the POV changes clear? I'm sorry if I'm not.

_Well, here I am, just like Dawn_, I thought to myself, staring out the plane's window. _Just what I didn't want to do._

Life in California was supposed to be perfect. Well, it just about was, for seven years. I hate to compare, but my mom, sister, step dad and stepsister in some cold place---compared to a laid-back dad and beaches, beaches, beaches.

Maybe it was Carol who incited my sudden want to move back to Stoneybrook. Or it could've been my guilt, and missing of Mom. Either way, I didn't want to be like my older sister Dawn, who had drifted from coast to coast about six or seven times before college in Berkeley, California. Somehow I did anyway….

"Hey, Jeff, buddy, I have someone I'd like you to meet."

Even then, I remembered those words. Dad had just gotten the doorbell, and I was playing cards with Mrs. Bruen, our then housekeeper. "Oh…I was just about to declare 'war' on you. I'll be right back." I got up, not sure what to expect.

"This is Carol." I remember thinking that they looked at each other funny. Then again, I was ten, and saying "love" was like swearing. Eww, gross!!

Duh---Dad and Carol were going out. And all of a sudden they were married, in a couple of months. Even more sudden-I was going to be a big brother. Whoa, that's a lot to take.

Carol was okay. She tried, and she always drove me, and occasionally Dawn, places. Gracie was cute, and I didn't have to take care of her. But there was more where that came from. Hope Schafer when I was eleven, Elizabeth Annette when I was thirteen. It was crazy.

One day, a while ago, I came in from school. "I'm home!" I called, to anybody who cared.

Lizzie was having a tea party with Carol on the floor. I guess preschool was over for the day. Gracie and Hope were gazing at the television. After working on homework for some time, I came down to see that Dad had joined them, and Carol had moved to the couch.

I felt dizzy. Okay, so maybe I'm overreacting. But things have just changed. Everything was different in my California home: suddenly I felt like a stranger who didn't belong. They were a new happy family, a new, young generation of (Olson) Schafer's.

I talked to Dawn about it. It was the day before she was coming back here for college, year three. "I don't know," I confided. "It's just---I miss the closeness I had with Dad, the father-son thing. No offense to Carol, she's an okay stepmother and I'm used to her, but it's all thanks to her. My life would probably be perfect right now."

I used to hate when Dawn acted like she knew everything, but right now I appreciated it. "But was life perfect with Dad before?" Dawn asked pointedly. "Everything was easy and simple and guilt-free?"

Well, that definitely hit home. "Uh…no. I did feel bad about leaving Mom a lot of the time, even though she had you and Mary Anne."

"So did I," Dawn admitted. "It's happening again now, like a cycle. Now I feel bad about leaving Mom AND Dad. But Jeff—don't tell me that you only felt bad then."

"Okay, so I always have," I said. "And God, I'd hate to go what you've gone through, but it seems like the only way out. Mom and Richard are all alone right now."

"Think about yourself sometimes, remember that," she added. "It's not Mom's, Dad's, Richard's, Carol's, or even _my_ decision---it's yours."

---

Breaking the news to Dad was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. That expression on his face will haunt me forever. I'd caught him off guard, probably by now he'd just accepted that he'd won the battle and basically got full custody of one of us. I appreciated that he had tried to understand and accept my feelings. I really hate when adults act like your feelings don't count. Then again, I'm just about an adult.

_August 14th_

_Dear Jeff,_

_Your room's almost ready. I'm trying to get Richard to quit as a lawyer and start as a redecorator; he has done such a wonderful job._

_Plans are set. You are arriving in Stamford on Saturday at 10, and trying senior year here, just like you wanted. Just as a fair warning, they've changed the standards of Stoneybrook High a little since Dawn attended. I'll explain later._

_It's very quiet around here. Mary Anne is coming home late most nights; I doubt you'll see much of her. Just about ever other weekend after work Richard and I have gone out with friends, to make life slightly more interesting._

_We hope everyone is well and that we will see you come Saturday._

_XXX000, Mom and Richard_

Oh, does she mean the guest room? It's impossible to make a room your own when you're there a week at a time, a few months per year. It consists of a bed with white sheets, an old dresser, and some Batman posters from the good old days. What did you do, Richard, paint the walls?

And another thing. I'm trying my senior year…? She probably expects me to hate it and arrange a flight the second I get back. God, I'm not Dawn's clone. I'm hoping I'll make their lives more interesting. How interesting can working then coming home to a silent house be? Seriously.

"Bye, bye, Jeff," Lizzie said solemnly, hugging my ankles. "See you later."

Yeah, she was a little confused. I guess I'd be too. I've been around her for her whole life, why are we suddenly in this place, and he's leaving?

Carol gently laid her hand on her shoulder, and crouched down so the other girls could hear her. "Jeff's going on a trip, just for awhile. He'll be back soon, but for right now, he'll be somewhere else." She was trying to be brave, but I could sense the hurt in her voice. Carol had always tried hard to get us to like her.

"I promise to write to you," I said, placing my bags on the conveyor. "Will you draw me pictures?"

"Yes," the little girls hugged me protectively. "I love you," Lizzie added, before I got on the plane.

---

That was a couple of hours ago. Now I was getting that feeling: we were landing, I sat up in my seat uncomfortably and waited for the official landing announcement.

Mom and Richard, Mom especially, was pushing through everyone, and they reached the front by the time I got down. "Jeffy!" Mom exclaimed, hugging me tight.

"Uh…hi," I grunted, stepping backward. Richard nodded hello. I tried to smile. But I felt about four years old, and began to have second thoughts.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go get your suitcase." Mom ran off, and wordlessly Richard and I followed her.

I had no idea how long I'd be in Stoneybrook, so I had packed a large suitcase just incase. "Oh," Mom said, daring to lift it. "How heavy."

"I'll carry it, sweetheart," Richard offered. Mom handed him the suitcase and they exchanged that smile, sickeningly sweet.

And another thing, I didn't know what to say on the ride home. I sat there stiffly until Mom asked the practically required divorced parent question. "How's your father?"

"He's all right," I answered, not going into detail.

"And his new children?" Dad's had other kids for seven years. Mom's never met Hope, Gracie or Elizabeth. Either way, I got this strange feeling she hated the idea of him having kids with someone else.

"They're growing," I shrugged. "Lizzie's going to be at preschool this year."

Mom murmured, "He's lucky his youngest are still young." She didn't say anything the rest of the ride. It was dark and harder for her to see and concentrate driving.

Home sweet home. Stoneybrook looked, well….the same. Palo City has had new buildings, homes, stores. I'll bet they still only have that old café.

"Here we are," Mom smiled. "Now where did I put those keys? I could've sworn I had them in my right jacket pocket."

"Sharon? You have them attached to the car keys on the key ring," Richard reminded her.

"Oh, oh yes," she laughed, inspecting the key ring and finding the house key.

What _has_ changed here?


	4. Reputations

Chapter 4----Karen Brewer

Everything was clear. "Thank you, contacts!" I exclaimed, inspecting my eyes in the mirror. With the perfect amounts of mascara and eyeliner, my eyes stood out beautifully.

"You could be put in a mental house," a voice said from the doorway, "if you continue talking to yourself like that."

I whipped around. "Shut up, _David Michael_," I sneered, and flipped back my thick, curled blonde hair. "You could do with a little makeup yourself."

"You're the one who considered using it on yourself first," he shrugged, snagging some hair gel and a comb, and leaving the bathroom. Oh…nice diss…not.

My bangs were back in a cute, tiny clip, and my hair fell in thick, gentle ringlets. I added my silver hoops to complete the attractive look that made boys drool and (hopefully) older kids accept freshmen as human beings. There was a cute guy in my math class who I had my eye on.

"The bus is coming in five minutes!" my step mom called from downstairs. "Get out there to the bus stop, Karen, this means you!"

I ran downstairs, and grabbed my designer tote and totally cute $60 purse my dad bought for me. I'm trying so hard not to lose it. "Bye Elizabeth," I said, hugging her. "Where's Dad? I haven't even said good morning to him yet."

"He's still sleeping," she replied, furrowing her brow in concern. I didn't blame her; Dad's seemed really tired lately.

Beep! "Oh, crap!" I exclaimed, running out the door. "See you later!" I passed my brother Andy, waiting for the SMS bus. "See ya!" And I ran onto the bus, hoping Hannah cared enough about me to save a seat. She didn't. She was sitting with that dorky blonde girl, whose clothes looked like a fifth graders'. If I were Hannah, I wouldn't even bother with her, even if I knew her or not.

Ignoring them, I flipped my hair and sat in one of the remaining empty seats, in the front. Then I pulled out my I Pod, 30 gigs, for the ride.

Today I was being switched into Accelerated Spanish 2, not because I was doing badly but because my teacher recommends to us not to take all honors. I wasn't having any troubles, as usual, but I guess the teacher knows best, right?

I took out my school map and went to find Mrs. McCallum's classroom. Three girls in mini-skirts and tight SHS pride shirts passed by me. "Freshman!!!" one of them called out.

"Hey, I'm not a freshman! I'm a…sophomore!" I protested, trying to sound insulted and indignant.

"Yeah, right," one of them answered, as they stopped. "Only freshmen tote maps around!"

I scanned the map, memorized the way, and stuffed it in my pocket as fast as I could. Freshmen weren't cool, and you certainly wouldn't want upperclassmen thinking of you as a loser!

There was Hannah in this class. I was about to say hi, but then I noticed she was sitting with this loser, Natalie, who doesn't even have a solid group of friends. I found a seat by myself in the back, and listened, bored, to lessons we learned in Honors three weeks ago.

In gym I was partners with Nancy for badminton. We played doubles versus Hannah and the blonde chick from the bus. I don't know why, but she seemed to be trying to distance herself from me. Hey, I offer her times with all my cool things like my I Pod, what else do I have to do to be a good friend. If I could give one tip of advice to Hannah, it would be to loosen up! You only live once, after all.

Today after school David had football, so I got off the bus and ran inside. Dad's car was in the driveway. I set up my books at my special desk, and went to find him. Elizabeth said that when someone has had a stroke, whether recently or un-recently (it was seven years ago), they need to take it easy sometimes, and that's why Dad has to occasionally work at home, which is not a problem where his paycheck is concerned, at all.

"Dad!" I called, looking through the different humongous rooms. I didn't have time for hide and seek: I had to do homework and pick out the perfect outfit for tomorrow. But I had to have Dad sign a graded test for me, before I forget.

His bedroom. I stepped inside and felt something odd. A little soft, but stiff. Without thinking, I automatically looked on the ground. I screamed, thinking that he could be dead at first thought. I ran as fast as I could for the phone.


	5. Unwanted

Chapter 5-Jack Rodowsky

"How was your game Friday?"

I turned around and faced the nightmare…I mean, Margo. "Umm….we lost, 28-zip." I turned around again, hoping she'd leave.

She didn't. "Jack…I have this new friend, Pamela. She's having a party next Saturday, you know, to have all the freshmen meet each other. And she mentioned couples can come together…." she trailed off dreamily.

We're not a couple! I wanted to scream. You and I are definitely not on the same wavelength.

---

I don't trust parties. I've tried to stay away from them since _that night, _last spring at our middle school grad party, held by one of my friends. I came in, nonchalant.

"Hey, man!" one of my friends, Norm Hill, slapped me on the back. "What's going on?"

"Eh, not much," I replied. "Where's the food at? I'm wicked hungry."

"Follow me," he grinned. "The living room's got food and music. Pretty sweet."

Let's just say I've had a slightly awkward childhood. Everyone knew me as the clumsy red-head named Jackie, girly, and it bugged the crap out of me. What's been bringing my rep up lately is joining the football team. People had started talking to me and noticing me, some of the girls, one of them specifically. Funny how a slight change in lifestyle can mess with everything else.

I don't have that many friends, like a group. But hey, I'm not a jerk or anything. I was just fine chilling with Norm. After a while he left to go to the bathroom, so I leaned against the staircase railing, bobbing my head with the music. Suddenly with a fierce jerking motion I was pulled towards the staircase. "Come on," the voice hissed.

"Norm?" I mumbled, stumbling around in the dark. "What, you want to talk alone about something?" That would be awkward, you know?

I blinked, realizing that we were upstairs. Someone pulled me into a bedroom and closed the door. God, whoever it was, they were strong. Everything suddenly came into focus.

There was good ol' Margo Pike. She flipped back her hair and leaned close to me, very close. "Jack…I'm going to do something I've been dying to do forever…" Margo reached out towards me.

My heart began to thump. "No!" I exclaimed, and sat up on this bed. "I mean…um…not now. NO offense." Opening the door, I looked back at her sad looking face. I didn't want to hurt her, but I was definitely wasn't ready for this. I mean, I didn't even know her: she was just some girl in my French 1 class.

Maybe its not parties I distrust, maybe its girls in general. Yeah, that just about covers it. You never know what they'll do, or how they'll read "signs".

I guess Margo read mine as "I don't want to do something that could start problems, but I do like you." No, hate to break it to you kid, but you're wrong.

So…back to reality. I was deciding on how to decline her offer in a way that wasn't rude when the bell rang. "Oh, damn, gotta go," I said, turning up the stair well. My Algebra teacher, Mrs. Nadeau, gave me a hard look as I made it in.

I glanced through the rows, trying to find an empty seat. There was one in the back row, facing a window on one side and next to some girl on the other. As I sat down she smiled at me.

Trying not to make a big deal of it, I turned my eyes towards her. God, she was hot. Her long hair was waved and hung down her back, shining. She had on some sort of Victorian blouse and a tight vest. If only I knew her name…

"Jack! Let's have you come up to the board and solve one of these problems." I got up and went to solve -204x-40, in between two girls I didn't know. Somehow I managed to get it right. I'm not so good with paying attention when it comes to math.

After class the girl came up to me. "Hey, you're Jack, right? I'm Nancy Dawes. Do you want to go out?"

Right. Like that would happen. That's what I _wanted_ her to say. But her name was Nancy Dawes. Later in engineering I asked Norm if he knew her, and he did.

"Yeah…she's in my English class. We did this retarded thing where we had to introduce ourselves, like first graders. I remember hers specifically, I don't know why. But, yeah. Her name's Nancy. She went to Stoneybrook Academy."

"Is she nice?" I persisted.

Norm stared at me. "What, you want her when Margo Pike's practically down your throat?"

"We're not going out!" I said, annoyed. "She's too….annoying. Seriously, she does not get it."

"Margo won't be very happy when she finds out you plan to cheat on her…" he laughed, moving away to ask our teacher a question about the project we were working on.

In last period history I realized I left my homework notebook in my locker. I ran down the stairs again to go get it. A lot of people say that and finish their homework in the locker hallway.

"Jack! Oh, hi!" What was her problem? Stalker? There was Margo, finishing some paper at her locker. "I didn't know you'd come down at the same time as me."

"Hey," I said, and jerked the lock out of the locker. My book was right on top; how could I have missed it? I shut my locker quickly and turned towards the stairs again.

"So, Jack, how about that party?"

It was now or never.


	6. Best Friends

Chapter 6-Hannah

Karen slid into her seat next to me on the bus. Adrienne and Mel weren't on there yet; maybe they were staying after. "Want to go shopping this weekend?" she asked suddenly, after bobbing to her IPOD for about five minutes. The bus was about to take off soon.

"Umm…which day?" I thought about it.

"Sunday. On Saturday Dad's taking us all out for a drive."

When was the last time they did that, in second grade? That was kind of strange. "I'm going to Adrienne's house to work on our English project." She moved into my Honors class because her Accelerated one wasn't challenging enough. They really emphasized challenges at Stoneybrook High.

"Too bad," Karen sneered. "We desperately need to update your wardrobe."

Was it just me, or was Karen being extra nasty lately? Geez, friends don't say things like that. Enough was enough, I decided, as much as I want to keep our friendship strong for the seventh year.

I turned around and began talking to Mel who had just gotten on the bus. Karen slid into her seat and sighed. Get over it, I wanted to say. I don't feel like talking to you anymore, someone who's going to be an asshole.

One day the next week in gym class we picked partners to volley with in badminton. I was about to triple up with Adi and Mel, as usual, but Nancy ran up to me. "Hey, Hannah. Partners?"

I gave her a look. "Um…why not Karen?" it was mid-October and so far Nancy had always been with Karen.

Nancy looked around, and then muttered under her breath. "Uggh...she's so annoying. She's like, lecturing me on how mature I could be if I were more like her. And she's acting like she's older than us, now, which is kind of bothering me."

"Weird," I said. "She's always tried to be mature, since she feels, like, inferior to everyone else in our grade. But she's never really been mean, though."

We glanced at Mr. Keating, who was about to give directions. Karen caught my eye. Then she looked down, and then ran out the door to the bathroom. Once again, I wondered what her problem was.

All week, Adi and I alternated between our houses to finish our project, which was not only a poster but a big presentation. She became good friends with my sisters Sari and Callie, who are nine and four. She's pretty good with kids. Adrienne's house was kind of quiet and lonely, so I didn't blame her. Sean was usually out playing football, and her sisters Amy and Bethany were in college.

The night before it was due, I was walking home from her house in the dark. I realized then I had to return to Karen her copy of _Of Mice and Men_, which all the freshmen had to read. I'd left mine in my locker. I was poised to ring the doorbell, but I put my hand down when I heard a muffled noise. "Who's there?" I called out, kind of freaked out.

"Oh, it's just you, Hannah," the voice sounded. I looked around and realized Karen was sitting on her front porch swing, and huddled in a blanket too.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked her, taken aback.

Karen sniffled. "I don't know…I just come here to be alone, okay? Bye…" She waited. I stayed.

"I'm not taking that as a perfect explanation, if that's what you were thinking I'd do. I take it you don't usually…um…cry out here. Seriously Karen, what's going on?" Phew, I felt winded, like I just proclaimed some speech. Karen sucked in her breath, but didn't deny it.

She just stared at me. It seemed like Karen was trying to say something, but eventually just shook her head.

"Hey, you can open up to me," I waved my arms. "I'm supposed to be one of your best friends, your musketeer, remember?"

Karen glared at me now. "You don't realize how tough this is for me, do you? Oh…fine…if you just have to know." There was a long pause in the conversation. "My Dad didn't really get it checked out in time. He has a severe case of cancer, leukemia, Hannah. He's dying."


	7. Being Noticed

Chapter 7- Jack Rodowsky

As I stared out the window on the school bus that afternoon, I felt free. _This is probably how a criminal feels when they get out of jail_, I thought. It wasn't the same, though. I hadn't done anything bad. Then why was my conscience saying otherwise?

Luck was definitely on my side today, no question. In math she assigned us partners to go over the previous nights' homework, and guess who my partner was? Yeah…Nancy! For the last two weeks since I'd first noticed her, I'd been working hard. Trying to get someone's attention is pretty hard, believe it or not. Whatever I could without being too obvious, like sitting close to her or finding a reason to look in her direction, like this one time when she was right in front of the clock.

Nancy. I was becoming obsessed with her. Love is a complicated thing. Every time she had to go up to the board, there was a way she walked, talked…

Mrs. Nadeau finished assigning groups. People began to move as I decided to play dumb for a second. "Hey…which one of you is Nancy?"

I stood up, looking around. "I am," Nancy said in her smooth, confident voice I feigned surprise then grinned, hopefully not in a dorky way. I dragged my chair over to her desk and leaned over to snag my notebook.

"So…_your_ name is Nancy?" She looked down at her notebook, then directly at me. You could tell she wasn't interested in the homework, either.

"I'm the one and only Nancy Dawes, from Stoneybrook Academy, that is."

We went on and on. It was simple chatty stuff, really. Nothing interesting and her expression turned from interest to disappointment as we suddenly felt Mrs. Nadeau's presence above us. "Does this conversation sound like slope-intercepts? I think not. Come on now, let's get working."

Nancy and I stared silently, and began where we left off as soon as we were safely distanced. I tried my best to grin, laugh and what she said, and smooth my hair every once in a while. When the ten minutes were up, I unwantingly led my chair back to my desk. Nothing Mrs. Nadeau said could stay in my head. All I kept thinking was, _Holy shit, we talked! We had a conversation, even!_

My next period was gym. I basically do my own thing, since I don't have any friends there. Our teacher, Ms. Solar, was taking attendance when a tall girl came in and began talking to her. _Great, another sophomore_, I thought to myself, annoyed. Sophomores all thought they were the best things to hit the earth.

But then somebody moved out of the way, and I realized it was Nancy. She nodded to Ms. Solar and turned, spotting me.

"Oh, it's you," I said, giving a small, surprised laugh. "Didn't recognize you in shorts."

"I couldn't be any one else," she replied brightly. "I got moved to Accelerated Spanish, so I had to change gym classes, too. I think some of my friends are in that class. Did I tell you about them?"

I shook my head, and she started talking while we were divided into teams for a kickball game. We were assigned separate teams, but came over to the same up-to-bat line anyway.

"They're Karen and Hannah. They're both really smart…do you have any classes with them?"

"No…I'm not smart," I laughed again. She continued, but that was all I heard about Karen and Hannah. She went on and on about a kid, Audrey, who was in my art class. I thought she was interesting.

When the bell rang, at the end of class, we headed for the locker rooms. My heart began pounding randomly, and in a split second I realized what I could do, whether a good or bad answer would come out of it. "Nancy?"

"What?"

"Do you want to…um…" Gulp. What was it again? "Umm…go…out?" I gasped for breath. There just wasn't enough in the air right now.

Nancy fixed her eyes on me and I began to feel even more uncomfortable. "Jack…you're such an interesting guy! How could I say no?" There was something we both wanted to do. It was the perfect moment, completely wrong place. We split into our separate locker rooms and I floated through the door. Sure, I was kind of pissed that a sweaty gym wasn't a very romantic place, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, or however that saying goes I had just gotten my girl!

---

On the way to football after school I caught Margo in the hallway. "Margo, I…"

"Jack, you just have to see this new outfit I got. I'm sure you'll approve. Well, I…"

"Margo!" I exclaimed, frustrated. So much for breaking the news in a gentle way. She jumped with surprise, and we just stared wide-eyed at each other for a moment, until I found my voice.

"Margo. You have to understand something. I don't like you, I never said we were going out." I couldn't stop myself now. "I found somebody I do like, not just like. We're going out now. We met two weeks…"

"Now she cut me off. "Shut up!" Tears were wobbling in the corners of her eyes. "I don't want to hear it. You _were_ cheating on me! You were! I just…I just…" She fled, and then ran down the hallway as fast as she could. And I didn't have the nerve to call after her.

---

When Mom picked me up later, her oldies station was playing. It blared the words, "Crazy little thing called love," several times, and then the song ended. Love was crazy. It meant completely different things to each person in the world.


	8. Teenage Hormones

Chapter 8-Jeff

"Hey, man, this is a small neighborhood. Won't the neighbors complain?"

Byron stared at me for a moment, laughed, and cranked the music louder. "You're talking Stoneybrook here, Jeff. Nobody cares." He backed into his driveway carefully, and the CD music turned off automatically. The door was already unlocked at the house.

"I'm starved. What do you have for food around here nowadays?" I asked, adjusting my Dodgers baseball cap and walking inside.

"It's same as ever, except less kids, and more … hormonal teenagers." He grinned. "Mal's in college, so that leaves Mom with all seven teenagers. Especially Claire, who's just learning how to yell and scream at Mom."

"I heard that!" A voice came from up the stairs. A door slammed, and Byron shrugged at me.

"She's having a hard time," Byron explained to me. I assumed it just meant with being a teenager, but it ended up it meant something else.

Byron pulled little bags of Doritos out of his pantry. I grabbed my bag, and we dug in on our Psychology homework. Turns out that Palo City is a little ahead of Stoneybrook when it comes to learning, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

It was way better working on stuff with Byron. Back at the crib, Richard came into my room every five seconds to see if "everything was okay." I wonder how he'd react if I told him the room was on fire or something. Every once in a while we got up, got more snacks, joked about people and discussed sports teams.

At around five thirty his mom came home. I wondered where Mr. Pike was, because by then he was usually around watching TV or helping with homework. "Hello, Jeff! Long time, no see!" Mrs. Pike was more peppy than usual. Fake, even. It bothered me.

"Hi, Mrs. Pike," I said, putting my Stats book in my bag.

Mrs. Pike went up to the stairs to call his other siblings to dinner, then came back.

"Mom, can Jeff stay for dinner? We're done with our homework early, since he helped me." Byron looked slightly desperate. I don't know why, because we could have easily done it another night. Richard was definitely more easygoing than before.

Mrs. Pike's expression went from fake/peppy to completely tight-lipped. "No." she answered flatly. "There's not enough room, maybe another night." I silently counted the chairs at the table. Without counting any adults, there was only one extra chair.

Byron became angry, so suddenly it scared me a little. "Goddamn it, Mom! You and Dad make all of our decisions for us, can't we make just one!"

"Byron Andrew Pike," Mrs. Pike said sternly. "That is none of Jeff's business; we can pick up on our ongoing discussion on family matters later." She turned and stalked off towards the stairwell again.

"I'm outta here," Byron muttered under his breath. "Come on, Jeff. I can't take any of her shit right now."

We went out the back door and Byron whipped something white out of one of his pockets. "What are those?" I asked.

"You know what they are, don't be an asshole," Byron raged at me. He lit one of them. Cigarettes.

"You don't have to yell at me. I'm not part of your 'family matters', whatever they are. And another thing, since when do you smoke?"

"Only the past few weeks, when it's been hard," he explained, "just to relax. Sorry, dude. I'm just mad at my parents for splitting up without even thinking of our feelings. Claire especially hates that." Now I understood what he had meant earlier when he'd said that.

"Don't smoke, Byron. Why did they split up?" Smoking was bad for you, and Byron knew it. I didn't know what got into him. Maybe everything here wasn't the same as I had thought it was.

"I actually don't know. My stupid mom won't even let us in about anything. Go home, Jeff. Let me deal with it. I'm sure I'll be able to get it out of her eventually."

I wasn't so sure. Mrs. Pike didn't really strike me as a public person. I didn't know exactly why my parents split up, either, and that was almost eight years ago. I just got the usual kiddy explanation "We love you, we just don't love each other anymore." Only a ten year old kid like me bought something stupid like that.

"See you," I replied, and ran home in the dark blindly. I didn't realize until I got into the door that I had never grabbed my backpack.


	9. People Change

Author's note: Sorry some of the latest chapters are so short. And the lack of updates! I am going to try to spend some more time on each chapter now.

Chapter 9-Hannah

"Want to play doubles?" Adrienne suggested. "Maybe we could come up with a tournament or something."

Karen nodded. We crossed to the other side of the net, as Adrienne and Mel got ready to face off against us in a fierce game of…..badminton. Yes, you read right.

I concentrated. When a birdie came towards me, I did my best. I made sure I wasn't in Karen's way, and I let her get a few on my side, too.

At the end of a game, Adrienne and Mel came towards us. "Where did your friend go?" Mel asked.

"Oh, Nancy," Karen said with a flick of her hand. "She's been really weird lately."

"Ever since she met that kid….." I added, searching my brain for a name.

Mel supplied, "His name's Jack Rodowsky. I know him because he's on the football team with Adi's bro."

"He's basically the only freshman," Adrienne said. "He's actually pretty good. To make the team, I mean."

"I'm confused," Mel said. "Is he going out with, ummmm…Nancy? Are they just good friends, know each other from somewhere, or what?"

"I have no idea how she'd know him," Karen told us. "I don't even know if they're an item….she never talks to us anymore."

I frowned. "It's not like I have a problem with her making new friends, look at you guys, but she's not really supposed to ignore her other friends, either."

"Look, there they are---"

"Ladies!" I didn't get a chance to sneak a look at Nancy and Jack, since Mr. Keating was right over us. "Save the chatting for lunch, and get into a game!"

"Okay, Mr. Keating," we murmured in unison. We backed up to play, but all turned to look. Nancy and Jack were on the bleachers, just talking. Nancy was grinning, not like herself at all. The Jack kid was a redhead! Karen found that particularly hilarious.

Mr. Keating didn't even notice them as he walked by. That made me just the littlest bit mad. He was a tough grader, so if he caught you not participating, each warning was down part of a letter grade, so if he caught you not participating each warning was down part of a letter grade, so if you had a B, so you got a B minus for the day.

We caught up with her in the locker room. "Hey, Nanc!" Karen said casually. "What's going on?"

"Not much," Nancy said.

"What've you been up to?"

"Just homework," she turned the corner and went in the bathroom. What were we supposed to talk about? What did we have in common still? I felt a slight aching pain in my chest. For a second I thought of the Three Musketeers pact hanging in my room.

The next day in Algebra 2 we needed to work on the assigned class work with partners. There was one extra twist: she chose the partners.

I waited, and my name was finally called. "Hannah and Shea," Ms. Dorazio called out. Who was that? I stood up and looked around, and I saw a redheaded boy motioning for me to come over and sit with him, as he had an empty desk next to him. Shea…? Did I know him from somewhere else?

"Okay, first problem…" I began, and stopped when I noticed him. Shea was slouching back in his chair, with nothing on his desk. "Hey, um, why don't you get your book out?" I asked nervously. He was a junior, I was a freshman. I knew not to push it.

"Nah," he shrugged, tipping back even farther. Ms. Dorazio was on her way over, I could sense, but I didn't let on.

"Hey, let's just get this over with, okay?"

"Shea Rodowsky! Get to work, or you're getting a 0 on that already horrific grade on your last quiz!"

Ooh, threatening. I turned around to see what he would do next.

"Excuse me? I don't think that was something to mention in public," Shea raised his eyebrow at her. My jaw dropped. I'd never seen anyone act like that in front of a teacher. _Welcome to high school_, I told myself.

"Are you free today?" Ms. Dorazio asked relatively calmly. "Because you have a detention, one of the days this week after school."

Shea looked very bored. "Well, not today. My brother Jack has football basically every day after school, and I have to wait for him and drive him home. Is Friday good?" He was speaking as if they were talking about a time to meet at a movie theater or something.

"Yes, sure," she sighed. He must have been hopeless. You could tell she had fought a battle with Shea and lost.

"All right…number one," I tried again. We had to read aloud the word problems first, to try to understand them better. "Do you want me to read it?"

"I can't read it," Shea mumbled. "I mean, you can read it." Shea _Rodowsky_. Rodowsky! Jack Rodowsky. Ohhhhh. I knew I recognized him. He looked almost exactly like Jack!

"Okay…" and I read it. "Um…Shea?"

"What?" He looked confused, and I didn't blame him. He didn't even know who I was.

I hesitated, wondering exactly how stupid this would sound. "Is your brother…uh…going out with anyone right now?"

Shea laughed harshly. "You want to ask him out, kid? I don't think you have a chance, he's so hooked on that loser girl with the freckles."

"No, no, I didn't mean that!" I defended myself, very sorry that I brought it up. "But that…loser girl…" I gulped, "…is he going out with her? Or are they just friends?"

"Ummmm…yeah. They go out like every night, the way freshmen do, thinking they're so cool cuz they made it to high school. Don't even try Jack, kid, he's so into and close to that girl. Just a warning."

Ms. Dorazio walked by then and I didn't have enough time to pretend we were working. "Hannah Papadakis…? I'm surprised at you. I would think that you would be close to halfway done by now. You two, get to work. I'm very serious here. It could affect your participation grade severely."

My head automatically dove into my book. I began working on the problems overtime, and Shea stopped me. "So are you going to read, or what, freshman?"

I tried to help him. He refused to read any of the problems, but he would try them out. He was okay, just needed a little bit of help and guidance, from a freshman. Very weird.

So this was important to my math grade, huh? Math was important, to get into a college. What was more important, keeping good grades or friends? Nancy had always been a great friend to me; I had no doubt over that. Nancy might be getting in a little over her head, some trouble, and needed me to help her. If she wanted to get help. I didn't know how she felt about this, not even if she was my friend anymore.

Another thing I had no doubt about was that I was very mixed up inside.


	10. Two Seperate Lives

Chapter 10- Vanessa

I waited a second, and Claire passed the potatoes across the empty seat towards me. Since nobody was there, she had to reach extra far. "Thank you," I said stiffly. I scooped up a big blob, as Mom began talking.

"Guys, I have an announcement." We all looked at her expectantly. Even though there were still plenty of kids at the table, we weren't loud anymore. It actually didn't have to take a bulldozer coming into the kitchen to get our attention. "Friday night I am going to take you over to your fathers. Make sure you are packed for the weekend and ready by about 5 at that day. I will be picking you all up on Sunday afternoon." She tried to look away, but knew she couldn't. I respected her for at least trying to act strong about all this business with just "your father". Not Dad, not even John.

"In that case, I'll stay home," Byron said. We all turned to stare at him, wide-eyed with surprise. Sure, he'd been very defiant and had picked a lot of fights lately, but nobody expected him to be like that with something like this.

I was actually looking forward to Friday now. It would be awkward, I suspected, but this was our father, whom we'd known our whole lives. Obviously thinking of divorces a lot lately, Dad must have been so lonely. Every night before I went to bed I pictured what he would be doing, sitting in his new apartment alone, watching TV. Who invented divorces, anyway? It just made people separated and alone.

"You are going, Byron," Mom frowned at him. "Your father is looking forward to seeing you." He's looking forward to seeing you _again_. He hasn't seen you in weeks.

"Well, I'm not," Byron said, folding his arms and leaning back in his seat. He looked like a two year old begging for a longer bedtime.

"You know full well that I can't make you go. But I definitely suggest you do, it's the right thing to do."

Byron stood up and pushed his seat back so fast it toppled over. "I don't need your retarded suggestions, Mom! I can make my own decisions, and I know what is right! I'm almost eighteen!" He stormed upstairs.

I looked into my plate. Why couldn't he just keep his comments to himself?

"I…uh, need to be excused," Claire said quickly. She dumped her dishes in the sink with a loud clanging sound and ran off.

"Me too…" I said, my voice wobbling. I hated what this was doing to our family.

Most of all, I hated silence.

---

"Will you turn that down?" Byron snapped at me from the front passenger's seat. He was coming for the ride, since after that he was going to his friend's Jeff's house.

I turned towards the window instead of snarling back, exactly what I wanted to do. Somehow, "My Immortal" by Evanescence, really loud, kind of took away from the awkward car ride. Claire sat next to me with her tiny I Pod shuffle. "Vanessa, please….I really want to use your other earphone. You have wayyy better songs than me."

I sighed. She had been bugging me about it the whole car ride, since I have an 8 Gig I Pod. "Okay, fine," I said. "But I'm not changing the song to something you'd want better this time."

She offered me a small smile and snagged the right earphone out of my ear. Being a role model was _too_ much sometimes.

After a while we were there. It took awhile, at least a half an hour to get to the apartment. She waited until we got our bags out of the trunk and she simply said, "Sunday afternoon, guys. Watch for me." And she drove off.

"So she's not even going to come in to say hi to Dad…?" Claire said, confused.

"Why would she?" Margo said to her. "They hate each other now, remember? If you hate someone, you don't even want to _look_ at them."

"You guys are blowing this way out of proportion," Adam told us, checking to make sure we had the right apartment number. "They just don't want to live together. So why don't we just go in and make the best of the family we have now."

I shrugged and stood back while Claire knocked on the door eagerly. I closed my eyes, wondering what Dad would look like. I pictured a face, sad, old looking, with a gleam in his eye.

"Hi!" My eyes must have bugged out in surprise. Dad looked the same as always, just in a different setting. "Hello, kids! Come in, come in!" He gave a special look to Claire, the youngest, of course. "Hello, baby." I rolled my eyes. Some things never change.

"Hi, Daddy!" she said, hugging him. How old did she think she was, five? She was thirteen years old, for God sakes.

"Well, come right here," Dad looked at all of us, almost beaming. "Have you had dinner yet, kids?"

Jordan, and I had; Adam, Margo and Claire didn't. "That's good enough. I have some rice and beans out in the kitchen space, probably enough for three extra people. Jordan and Vanessa, why don't you wait a minute in the TV area until I can tell you where to put your things?" He pointed to a tiny area around the corner with a small TV, and a loveseat. "I'll be back in a second, just need to get the food."

"God, how are we all supposed to fit in here?" Jordan said to me under his breath. "I'll bet his bedroom is half the size of this space here." He plopped his bags on the floor and sat next to me rather uncomfortably. We waited in silence for a minute or two.

Dad came by, and passed us for a minute, knocking on a door down the hall. "Are you almost done? The kids are here." A chill ran through me. Who was here? There came one of those creepy feelings, when you knew you weren't alone.

Jordan and I turned around, waiting to see who would appear out of either a bathroom or bedroom (bedroom..? I hope not...) door. I let out a shuddery breath, as a woman stepped out towards us. She had on a tight blouse, some sleek black pants, and a towel over her head.

Dad smiled at us again. "Well, Jordan and Vanessa, this is Jessica Duval. Jessica, these are two of my children, Jordan and Vanessa. The others are in the kitchen. If you guys don't mind, Jessica is going to be here with us for awhile, to take care of some work-related things. She just got hired as the secretary in my office."

She was _pretty_. Jordan had this look in his eyes, the same when I brought my new friend from school, Maria Kilbourne, in our other house to work on the school newspaper. I was surprised that in only a couple of weeks, Mom was already being completely replaced.

Nobody could decide on a movie once everyone was ready. Claire and Margo wanted to watch _Step Up_, Adam and Jordan wanted to watch this bloody thing I hadn't even heard of, and I guess Jessica, Dad, and I were the ones who didn't care. We ended up just watching the Red Sox playoff game (A/N: If only that was reality!)

With almost everybody on the floor, I didn't have enough room; I was practically sitting in the hallway. During the seventh inning stretch Jessica offered me her seat when she went back in the bathroom to blow dries her hair. She came back nearly a half hour later. Her hair was very long, thick, and blonde. She stood for a minute or two, and then announced that she was going to bed…in Dad's bedroom. "Good night, everybody," she said nicely. "See you in the morning."

We had all brought sleeping bags. After Dad went to his room, we decided on sleeping plans. There was a small guest bed room down the hall, and Claire and Margo decided to share that bed. Jordan got the couch, with the deal that Adam would get it the next night. I slept near the TV and Adam slept near the hallway.

The next morning I woke to the smell of eggs and bacon. It turns out Jessica was making them. Nobody else was okay, so I quietly got up and looked at the kitchen clock. 6:30. on a Saturday! "Hi. Um…where's the bathroom?"

"Good morning, sweetie," Jessica grinned at me. "If you go down the hall, it's opposite the guest room."

"Thanks," I mumbled. I came back in the kitchen a minute later, to see if anyone else was at the table. Still only Jessica.

"Vanessa…it is Vanessa, right? Come here a second."

Warily I stepped forward. "Can you keep a secret?" I nodded slowly. "On Christmas…I am going to ask your father to get engaged to me. Do you think he will say yes?"

"Ummmm…I don't know. I have homework to finish," I said quickly, stumbling out of the room and back into my sleeping bag. I closed myself within it and tried to fall back asleep, missing breakfast.


	11. Your Smiling Faces

"No, I'm not going to go on the bus today. David's driving me home," I told Adrienne, shrugging. "You can use my I Pod tomorrow morning on the bus."

"I have to get an I Pod for Christmas!" Adrienne exclaimed, as she slung her backpack over her shoulder and we began walking towards the Stoneybrook High door. "I just have to! Everyone else has one but me!"

I patted her on the back. "Whatev. I wasn't really interested in music until last year, but I got one in the sixth grade, before school started. "

"Well, what do you expect….you were only ten!" Adrienne said. A lot of people knew now that I had skipped a grade. "What did I listen to at that age…I don't know….maybe the Wheels on the Bus!"

We both laughed at that. "That song is so last year," I told her in a phony voice. I held the door open for her and we stood for as second, since we were at the crosswalk for people who got rides. I lowered my voice. "I'm going to go pick up some stuff for Dad. He practically lives at the hospital now."

"I'll move there, I wouldn't mind. You should too! No more school! Don't worry. Everything is going to be fine," she added reassuringly as she left.

I stared at her back for a second, then spotted David's car. Nothing was ever going to be all right. She was kidding herself. I'd rather go to boring school rather than a smelly, depressing hospital any day. Another thing, everyone doubted he would ever come home. I appreciated Adrienne's effort, though, more or less.

"I did it."

"What?" I asked David, closing the passenger door and flicking my hair back.

"I parked in the senior parking lot."

"David! You didn't! Don't you need an ID?" I asked, gaping.

"Yeah…but hey, no trouble!"

"Elizabeth will be sooo P.O.'d if you got in trouble!"

"What are you, a God? I know that. I'm not going to do it again. I just wanted to see what would happen."

"Yeah, well, you should have at least snagged a fake ID. Then you could break into that club that's opening in Stamford." I rolled my eyes. That's probably what he's going to try to do next.

David replied, "You know what they say, Karen…you only know about something if you've been there! You look about eighteen right about now, anyway. It would work."

I looked down. I had jeans tucked into my favorite out of my pairs of cowboy boots, and a tight long sleeved blue shirt over a frilly white cami. My hair was straightened and pulled back into a French braid, while my huge hoop earrings shone. Personally, I thought I looked hot, but not eighteen. Not even close!

"Whatever you say…" I mumbled, as David pulled into the driveway. I grabbed my bag and ran inside. "Hi!" My adopted sister and her personal babysitter, Taylor, were in the kitchen together, baking. It smelled like chocolate chip cookies.

"Hi, Karen! Guess what, the cookies will be done in two minutes, and you can bring them to Daddy!" _This kid really needs to start calling him Dad_, I thought. Emily is eight years old, for God sakes! Just because she is the youngest, Dad and Elizabeth act like she's the best thing that happened since…life. She gets wayyy more than everyone else here. I've been telling Mom, I'm a good enough babysitter, and David and I are home a lot of the time, but no, Emily needs full supervision constantly. Only the best scare, no offense, non-adopted stepdaughter.

"Hi," Taylor briefly glanced at me, and then looked away. She's nineteen and she takes morning and some evening classes, not living on campus. Basically, she's a rich snob. I hate those. I nodded at her and looked away. I found David in the den, just about to turn on the TV. "David! Turn that off, we'd better go soon. Where's the list?"

"It's a playoff game, "David replied, ignoring my question. "Red Sox versus Yankees….game four…"

I rolled my eyes and flopped on the couch, digging through his bag. There were cluttered papers, books and a couple of baseballs. His I Pod was buried down at the bottom. I began to sift through the papers, crinkled due to lack of a folder. Finally I found the one, a list Watson had scribbled out of things he needed. Just simple things, like an extra toothbrush, a couple of his books from his library, and one last thing I couldn't read very well, scrawled at the bottom. I leaned in closer, reading it again. I understood it. It said: "Your smiling faces there for me".

-----

"Emily should really come!" I told David as again, we jumped into his car.

"What for? Taylor's leaving at five today." He won't admit it, but he likes Taylor. A lot.

"She just…needs to," I tried to explain, as he drove away without following what I was saying. "All of us…need to be with him. Always."

David hated all things mushy. That was definitely the wrong way to put it, but I couldn't express my feelings any other way, for some reason. The rest of the ride was silent.

Just like an old pro, I jumped up to the main desk to sign in and retrieve our visitor badges. I handed David his and went right up to the elevator, towards floor four. I've memorized completely where his room is. Watson was in his bed, of course, and Elizabeth was next to him, holding his hand. When did she ever work? How big was the hospital bill? My brow creased with worry as I stepped into the room cautiously.

The first time, I was afraid to look at all those wires connected to his body. Now, I'm getting better at ignoring them and just looking at my dad. "Hi, sweetie," he said, smiling at me. "Thanks for getting those. Hello, David." I placed the books on his table and the toothbrush in a baggie on top of the bureau.

"Hi, Elizabeth." I turned to face her. She looked at me, tired, face struggling to maintain a smile. David mumbled a greeting to his mom. Watson held this awkward scene together. "How is school?"

"Okay…I just aced a test, so I'm pretty good right now, actually."

"How about you, David?"

"Ehhh…" he shrugged. He doesn't really try in school.

Watson moved on curtly. "Karen, honey…could you bring me one of my books…the one in the middle of the pile? I haven't read in a while." I stared at him for a second, almost like Adrienne earlier, but quickly I did what he asked. The table was literally right next to him. He was too weak to lift his arm, I realized while something dropped with a CLUNK! in my brain.

He was too weak for living.


	12. Wild

Chapter 12- Jack

"That worked."

Nancy grinned at me and grabbed my hand. Mrs. Dawes' car left down the street, and we were alone in this strange neighborhood. I had absolutely no idea where we were or what to do next. Yeah. Some party.

"Um….where's the party?" I asked lamely. Nancy was a little too wild for me.

"Oh, Jack. That's Karen's house….I told my mom I was sleeping over there, but first we were going to have a study group together. But the party's at Audrey's crib, a few streets over."

"But how am I supposed to get home…? It's not like my house is right down the street." Just because I was a football player didn't mean I was totally fearless and strong. I mean, I've heard all the reports about stalkers at night.

"You don't mind walking, do you? In the dark…" She leaned over into a shadow and kissed me. I returned it, suddenly feeling fearless.

Maybe wild isn't so bad.

----

Audrey's house was out of mansion territory. I think she was in one of my classes, I'm not sure. She was the one who opened the door. "Hey, Nancy! Glad you could make it!!" She had on a tight, long sleeved black shirt, skinny jeans, and her hair was hanging in her face. Each word she spoke was slow and slurred. "So….is that your hottie? I'm Audrey." She winked at me.

Nancy laughed. "Hottie….hell yes! But he's all mine, don't get any ideas. This is Jack, sexiest man alive. God, what a sweet party!"

"It's really rolling. We have the coolest freshmen, sophomores, and even some juniors. Are you thirsty? There's some beer over in the cooler chest in the kitchen."

I tugged at my sweatshirt strings. I'd never had beer in my life, obviously. I've had so many of these warning talks, that someday someone could pressure me into drinking or doing drugs And that day had just presented itself to me!

"Umm…maybe…later..." I said, not wanting to sound un-cool. Audrey rolled her eyes. Nancy grabbed one.

"I'll leave you two alone for awhile…" she smiled at us, sickeningly sweet, then went over to join another group of kids.

I looked around. The music was blasting so loud, and everyone around us was talking in groups or dancing, a lot of them in a really weird, kind of awkward way if you know what I mean. How different could the term "partying" be to middle schoolers and high schoolers? This was supposed to be fun…how?

Nancy held out her arm. "Come, my date," she said. "We must mingle!!"

For the next couple of hours I stood around awkwardly as Nancy floated from group to group of friends. I didn't realize she was so popular. Even in my newfound part in the Stoneybrook High football team, I didn't have half as many friends at the moment.

Nancy had reached Audrey's group when suddenly the door bell rang. "Oh, crap," Audrey exclaimed, "how could my parents possibly be home?!?!"

She nervously went over to the door. Two policemen stood just inches away from her. "There have been many reports that you are disturbing the peace. I also need to observe to see if there is anything inappropriate present…"

I was suddenly pulled into the kitchen. "We have to go!!" Nancy whispered urgently to me. "My mom can never find out I was a part of this. Look, here's the back door!"

She grabbed at my hand and we were in a small grassy area with a swing set. "Don't worry. I know exactly the way to Karen's from here. We can just say we wanted to be picked up soon. And if I call now and say to leave in like ten minutes, we'll have enough time."

I had to say, Nancy was the quickest thinker I'd ever met. She made up plans in her mind and expressed them faster than I could sing the alphabet twice. I laughed quietly to myself. She grabbed her cell phone out of her purse as we wandered through the trees in the dark night. "Hello? Mom? We're going to be done in about ten minutes, all right? So leave then. I just need to finish going through the flashcards with Hannah….yeah, yeah, yeah. We ate, don't worry. What? Yeah, we got pizza." I listened in as we approached a road. I admired how smooth she sounded even when she was lying. If I tried to lie my face turned red and I had a slight stutter.

These were completely different roads, but Nancy knew them all perfectly. "How long have you been friends with Hannah and Karen?"

Nancy put a hand to her forehead as we turned a corner. "Umm…God…I don't know. It seems like forever. Probably like second grade, maybe? I've lived in Stoneybrook for my whole life."

"Same here," I told her. "It's so weird going to different schools, you know? We live so close but we don't know half the kids around until now."

She smiled at me and grabbed my hand. "It's not only weird. It's such a shame! I mean seriously, Jack. If only you could have met me earlier…." we kissed again. It felt either the same or better, I couldn't decide at first.

Better.

"I wish I'd known you my whole life," I told her earnestly. That sounded like the right thing to say. Of course, I had no idea what was right and what was wrong. She was my first girlfriend, after all.

She seemed to like it. "Okay…McLelland Road. Let's wait here a second."

It was perfect, standing here in the silent road of mansions, in the darkness except for all of those stars up above us. Our hands held us together, our relationship as well as the public and private schools of Stoneybrook, finally united through the high school. I put my arm around her, and…

Karen Brewer's door burst open. I jumped back, surprised, as they came at us. "There you are! What are you guys doing here now?"

"Umm…" I couldn't make out the words to talk. I decided to leave it to Nancy since they were her friends and her problem, whatever it was.

"I just…I wondered why two strange figures were just standing there in front of my house of all places, making out. And they were you guys. Who would have thought?" She shook her head. "Well. Let's start with the most important question."

Nancy's mouth quivered. The strong, sure look on her face that she had had there all night had disappeared swiftly. It had been replaced with a scared, helpless look.

I have to say, I was pretty scared myself.


	13. I'll Be There For You

Chapter 13-Hannah

"Oh my God. Where have you been?" Karen exclaimed. "You said you'd come at seven. And what is it now? Nine."

"Will you just listen?" Nancy pleaded. "Come on, I just…"

Karen rambled on, ignoring her. "And you know what? You could have at least called. Been like, 'No, sorry, I'm doing something with my new boyfriend—that's way more important than my friends I've known forever.' And don't think I don't know what the something is. I can smell the beer on your breath. "

Jack and I stood there in the dark and cold, silent. I wanted to slip inside and get my sweatshirt, but I wanted to see this. I wasn't the type to freak out, argue and pick fights. I wondered how much he had to do with this thing, whatever it was. I hadn't even noticed the smell, then again how often do I smell it?

"Karen. Calm down. It's not a big deal. It was just a big---"

"Yeah! That's your problem, you see! None of our feelings are a big deal. Oh, except for yours and his. It's like we don't even exist anymore!"

I nodded slightly. Sure, she was making a big deal over a missed study session/sleepover, but she just ignored us now in gym and whatever chance we got around school. I at least took Karen's side with that. In truth, I didn't want to take a side at all. I hate when people are mad at me. This new Nancy was just way different than the one I liked before. Sure, I'm different too since second grade or whenever it was, but I don't think I've turned into a jerk. Have I??

They didn't notice me at all. They just continued the fight. My head began to pound. I wanted to lie down.

Karen took a breath. Lecturing like that was probably very hard work. "We should matter! I don't care if you have a boyfriend. But you have to fit in both. Or it's one or the other, you could choose. Jack or us---"

The phone rang inside the house. "Nobody's home," Karen explained to Nancy and Jack quickly and calmly, "so I'd better get it." She ran inside, towards the kitchen.

An awkward moment of silence filled the air. Nancy lowered her voice. "You'll listen to me, won't you, Hannah?"

I made a face, and she continued "I thought I said to you all it was a decoy to make sure my parents didn't know I was at a party at Audrey Green's. They hate her. They think that she's a bad influence! That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!"

_Um…duh, why wouldn't she be?_ The thought slammed into my brain before I could stop it, and luckily the words didn't escape my mouth.

"But you thought I was actually coming over, so it was just a mistake, a big old misunderstanding. If you want I guess I could invite you next time---"

Karen entered the room, with a pained, tear stricken face. "My Dad—he-he-is barely breathing. We need a ride to the hospital. _Muy pronto." _

It's too bad we couldn't drive yet---then the answer came to us with a beep! Nancy's mom had arrived to pick her up from the "study session".

We waved her over.

----

Mrs. Dawes looked at us through the mirror. "So, uh, how have you all been?"

Nancy sat in the passenger's seat, looking out the window with a bored expression on her face. She looked like she really wanted this all to be over with. _Don't you even care about what happens to Karen's dad? _I wanted to yell at her, and shake her shoulders. _Offer her some sympathy…anything..? Do you even feel bad?_

But I didn't. I sat stiffly, squished between Jack and Karen, not wanting to say anything or contribute. In truth I had no idea what to say in this awkward situation. It seemed like we had been stuck in the car together for hours.

Karen sat stiffly, also, on my right side. Her arms were folded and she was scowling, probably wondering how life could be so unfair. I wonder that also, but I just felt so bad for her right now. Her face showed that she had many feelings going on right now. I could guess that too: anger, hurt, pain, confusion, betrayal.

Jack simply looked confused, and misplaced. Here he has a new girlfriend, suddenly starts hanging out with her 24-7, probably partying a lot, and then all of a sudden he's stuck with his girlfriend's friends, trapped in a car with nobody he really knew. Did he know Karen's situation? Did he care? Did he just want to go home?"

Mrs. Dawes tried again. "Is school okay?"

Silence again. Nancy's mom got the message. Surely she wouldn't bring up the topic of family, anyway.

I shifted in my seat, fooled with the seat belt. I was a little bored too, actually. But I knew I had to be with Karen.

It seemed like hours later when we pulled up to the hospital. Karen jumped out, and I followed her, Nancy doggedly following behind us. Jack looked from Mrs. Dawes to Nancy to Mrs. Dawes again.

"Wait just a second!" Mrs. Dawes took her hand off the steering wheel to hold up her hand. "Wait..."

We all looked at her.

"Why don't I bring Jack home? I'm sure you wouldn't want to hang with a bunch of girls, now, would you son?"

Jack shrugged. He looked up at us nervously, his eyes wide. I hated how she made it sound like we were being dropped off at the mall or something. This is serious business!

"Well?" Karen snapped. "Make up your mind!" She wanted to run up to the hospital room as fast as her legs could take her, but she was being delayed, which bugged the crap out of her, I'm sure.

Nancy spoke up. "Let's go, Jack. We wouldn't understand this." She pulled him by the wrist into the car and then reached out for the door handle. For a second we could hear Mrs. Dawes protest, but then they were gone.

Karen let out a low murmur. "I-um-Karen….I…" There it was: my fear. When I had a chance to say something right, something a true best friend would say, I'd blow it and be at a loss for words.

That had completely taken me by surprise. Jack could have just gone home, and Nancy there to be the big talker, the peace maker, the one that would make everything right. But she completely ditched us for her boyfriend in a time of crisis! Sure, she was never partnered with us for gym. That wasn't a big deal at all, compared to this. Not at all!

"No talking, more running!" Karen exclaimed, pulling at my wrist in a similar way Nancy did to Jack, though ours was in a desperate fashion.

I followed Karen the whole way. She knew the path to her dad's room exactly, every corner. We stepped into the room and I looked around. David, Emily, Karen's mom, they were all gathered around the bed. "You're _all_ here?"

A nurse by the bedside turned around to face her. "You were all notified as soon as possible. They just happened to be closer."

"Karen, honey," Mrs. Brewer said softly. "Come; take your turn by your dad's bed. Everyone else has already had their chances. Quickly, now, darling."

I bit my lip, sensing the extreme discomfort in the atmosphere of this room. Karen's step mom usually didn't speak this way. Something, someone, they'd better tell us what's going on. Quickly….

"The pulse is still there," the nurse said to everyone, "but the breaths are getting farther and farther apart. The time is coming."

For a second I looked at Mr. Brewer. He looked so pale and weak, it scared me to death. I looked down, as Karen made her way to the bedside.

"Daddy," she murmured, not caring that we were all watching. She acted as if she was the only other one in the room. "Daddy, I'm sorry this had to happen. You mean everything to me. If only we had more time together...or if I had come sooner. I just….I just love you so much, and I…."

Mrs. Brewer put her hand on Karen's shoulder. "Karen, take a deep breath and come back over here. It's not good for you to get all worked up about this. He won't be in pain any longer, and that's all that matters. See…you're crying. It's going to be all right."

"I didn't know I was, okay?" Karen glared at her, stepping back again. I reached for her hand and squeezed it.

Again, the nurse checked for a pulse. "I can't find a pulse," she said. "Take a moment to yourselves, I'll be back soon."

I watched as the Brewers grieved, comforting one another quietly. From person to person, hugs, fake smiles, comforting words. My head began to spin again. I couldn't stand it.

As quietly as I could, I slipped out of the room. When I was out of sight, I burst down the hallway towards a pay phone.


End file.
